Feeling Cold
by One Hit Wonders Anonymous
Summary: The cold could be so cruel, this Steven knew for sure, but he'd never wondered where it came from. Sure, it frosted his windows and froze his fingers, but not everything cold came from outside. He'd never stopped worrying about Lapis Lazuli. How do you know when the lying has become too much?


Welcome! I tried my hand at a one-shot closely related to canon. Steven is a difficult character for me to write, so I thought I'd take the challenge to write him in his unnatural state- that is, not smiling and joking. Let me know how I did.

* * *

 **Feeling Cold**

* * *

The whirling of frostbitten wind pressed against the walls of his home, creaking and moaning far from his reach. He pulled his blanket just a little tighter around his shoulders. He wasn't cold, but the warmth brought him comfort while he quietly played a game on his old Gameboy.

He was on the last battle, almost out of health, so close… "Aw, come on!" He yelled, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling in frustration. He'd lost at the very last second, and now he'd have to start all over again.

Steven held down the power button without saving and sighed. He watched the screen come back to life and beg him to press the start button, but he didn't really want to play anymore. He let the handheld sink in his lax grip and slide onto his lap, abandoned for now. The wind howled especially loudly, and he looked out the window at the snow peppering the air.

It was the very beginning of winter, which started around November in Beach City. The first snow had fallen a few days prior, and had stuck to the ground stubbornly instead of melting away. Today, the wind was kicking the snow back up and tossing it across the ground.

"Steven?" A familiar voice rang, stirring him from his idle thoughts. "Is something wrong up there?" Light footsteps defying the size of their owner padded up the stairs to his loft bedroom. "I heard you yell."

"No," he said, disgruntled, "I just lost my game at the worst possible time! I almost won, too!" His grumpy face softened when her hand gently touched the top of his head and attempted to smooth his hair. Pearl always tried to comb and fix it, but the curls were too tight and unruly to tame, much to her chagrin. It was still comforting for both of them.

"I'm very sorry Steven, but why don't you just try again another time? I'm sure you'll win now that you know your weakness," Pearl said, equating the game to a proper battle in war. Steven chuckled half-heartedly. She fell into the habit of coming to disproportionate conclusions often.

"Yeah." He said, unable to keep his melancholy disguised. Pearl raised an eyebrow, concerned.

"Is there something else wrong, Steven?" She asked, frowning.

"No, not really," he said with a sigh, "thanks Pearl."

"Oh please!" She said, catching Steven off guard. "Do you really think you can fool me, just like that?" She smiled softly, brushing the back of her hand over his cheek. "Your worries are written all over your face."

Steven looked up at her kind eyes but looked away, back to the window that both leaked cold through the glass and fogged from his body heat. Her smile vanished, replaced with a lopsided, fretted frown. "Steven," she said quietly, commanding his attention by pulling gently on his cheek to turn his gaze back to her, "will you please tell me what all this is about? It isn't like you to be so quiet, even on a shut-in day like this." A little guilt washed over him at how concerned she looked. He didn't want to cause her anxiety.

"Do you think Lapis gets cold?" He asked her. She was surprised by his candor. "Do you think it gets cold down in the ocean, do you think she would get sick?"

"Steven, I…" She trailed off, sighing. "Why are you thinking about this?"

"I think about it a lot," he said, wringing his hands nervously. "What if she got away from Jasper, and now she's just by herself and cold far away from here, in the middle of the ocean? We couldn't help her then," he said with fear in his throat. Pearl laid a hand on his shoulder, unsure of what to say.

"No, we couldn't." Pearl finally said, feeling a bit uncomfortable at her lack of answers. She'd never given the rogue gem a second thought after she'd disappeared in the ocean with Jasper. Steven thought of the strangest things sometimes, she thought.

"Well, do you think she's okay?" Steven asked. He sounded much too close to tears for Pearl to handle. It broke her heart to hear him like this. She rubbed his shoulder reassuringly.

"I think," she began, carefully choosing her words, "that Lapis Lazuli is probably not cold, Steven." She avoided the word 'okay'. There was no way that she was 'okay', but she didn't want to tell Steven that. "The bottom of the ocean is cold, but no colder than usual. She's probably used to it."

"Do you really think so?" He said, and she mentally sighed in relief that he hadn't dwelled on her slight avoidance of the question. Maybe he hadn't noticed. She held her arm out, beckoning for him to come closer to her. He obliged, and rested his head against her with the blanket still tightly wound around him. She combed her fingers through his hair.

"Yes, I do think so." Pearl said, looking out the window with him now. "She's very powerful, I doubt a little cold water would break her down." Steven seemed to smile.

"Yeah." He said. They sat in silence for a minute while she continued to comfort him, reaching around with her other arm to hold him close and rest her head atop his. Steven's hair was so much like Rose's, the way it felt.

They both turned to look at the sound of the temple door opening, and out strutted Amethyst, carrying a strange pile of objects seemingly unrelated to each other. "Yo, Ste-Man!" She called up with a big grin, hurriedly skipping steps to reach them. "I found some more cool junk that we can turn into other junk!" She said much too excitedly, according to Pearl.

She reached the foot of his bed and Pearl and Steven turned around to look at her more directly. "Hey, what's going on little man?" She asked, her smile starting to disappear. She must have noticed his downed spirits, Pearl thought.

"I'm just worried about Lapis." He said, looking down. Pearl bit her lip, disappointed that her work trying to cheer him up had disappeared so quickly.

"Oh." Amethyst said, clearly troubled. "I'm sure she's fine, Steven." She set the beat-up box down to the side.

"Don't worry about it Steven." Steven, Amethyst, and Pearl jumped at the sneaky entrance of Garnet, who now stood behind them at the top of the steps. She took a few long strides to kneel in front of Steven with a slight smile on her lips while she cupped his cheek. He looked at her, uncertain. He knew that if anyone knew how Lapis was, it would be Garnet. "Lapis Lazuli is her own gem, and a powerful one at that," she explained. "She can take care of herself."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked, looking expectantly into her opaque shades.

"I'm sure," Garnet said, never losing her smile. Pearl and Amethyst envied her poker face.

"Okay," he exhaled, relaxing into Garnet's touch, "thanks, everyone." They all smiled in relief.

"No problem, little bro."

"You're welcome, Steven."

"Of course."

They sat in silence for a moment, appreciating each other's warmth. It was moments like this that reminded them that they were a family, albeit a non-traditional one.

"Hey, wanna go treasure-hunting in my room again?" Amethyst offered to break the silence, tugging at his shirtsleeve. He nodded with a toothy grin and they scampered down to the temple door together, chatting about what they'd find next. Pearl appreciated the diversion, and her method of cheering him up.

The wind made surprise reappearance, banging at the walls with crooning wails of disdain. Pearl felt them deep in her soul, melding with regret. "We shouldn't lie to him," Garnet said, pushing her shades up on her nose with a slight frown.

"I know," Pearl sighed, "but what choice do we have? The truth would hurt him."

"It would hurt him no more than learning that we've lied to him would." She said flatly. Pearl felt a new shiver of guilt come over her to match the wind's creaky assault on the glass panes.

"We don't know for sure that she's gone," Pearl said hesitantly. "She could still be holding on." She was met by a slight grunt, then silence. She ran a hand through her hair, pushing back her bangs. "What are we going to do, Garnet?" She felt so defeated.

Garnet thought for a long moment. "We lend him our strength." She said. "We'll talk when he gets to the point that he questions it."

"Won't that hurt, like you said?"

"Yes, a lot." Garnet said honestly.

"Then what is the path with the least amount of pain for him?"

Garnet thought about it. She ran through the possibilities once, twice, and three times over. She arrived at her answer with a gravity that sunk them.

"I don't know." A piece of siding ripped from the exterior wall.

* * *

Thank you for reading! Throw me a review if you have a chance!


End file.
